does anyone give a damn towards me and to wad i'm thinking or even to the things i'm doing?? i'm sooo peace off wif everything. no one seemed to care or even concern abt me today. maybe i'm jus like tis. maybe i'm jus a straight loner. maybe i jus have my own feelings, my own thoughts and tis place cant tolerate me and i jus cant find a place to fit myself in here. `sighs. my mood was pretty bad. i was the MC (wif des) of tis year's "fashion show design" where students came out wif creative ideas to decorate a clothing and the "models" wear them and parade. it was so irriating and tiring. no one appreciate our hardwork and effort. (hello, we had to repeat the same scripts for 7 times.) no one, absolute no one appreciate it. des and me wanted to shout and blast thru the mike saying "hello, we are here talking and can u jus shudup and listen to us???" i do badly wanted to do that. but i suppose, i jus cant. it was so sickening b'cos we didnt have any scripts to start and in the end we managed to have one last minute wif sickening handwritting and even the-doc-mosses cant even understand and SHE expects us to. wtf. the models are nice ppl. hahas. c(: and i teased one of them.. whahaha. after which i went back to class after all those unappreciated-work which wasted my time and money (as i cant go to the chinese enrichment course - and it cost 14 bucks) no one seemed to be bothered wif me. i came into my class like nobody's business. well, i admit there are some who care. but others jus simply cant be bothered. i mean i'm not those who crave for attention. but at least i jus wanted to noe and assure myself that there are at least some ppl who cares for me. but no. no one seemed to give a damn on me. i badly wanted to run away and hide myself. yet who knew? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. i wanted to talk abt my prob. but there is no one to hear me out. no one who even looked at me straight and asked abt my prob. i wanted to asked her* whether she give a damn to wad i'm doing. if some day i asked her to choose btw me or that grp (i'm NOT jealous) i doubt she'll jus say them. i'm jus a big burden for her to carry. i tink she knows it herself too. she wanted to leave me alone but didnt dare to bring up the topic to me. ~ [perphas i'm jus a little sensitive] ~ i waited in the inter for u to arrive. i went to buy a carrot cake and waited for ur appearance. as expected, u came abt jus after i eaten the carrot cake and at first i decided not to wait for u anymore. at the same time, 28 came. i supposed i looked like an idiot standing there. dunnoe whether to give u wad i bought for u or jus leave it and gave u tmr (or when we r back once again) having a dilemma. and in the end, i decided jus to give u the things and jus walked away-w/o any form of tears, to be brave like wad i used to be. and i did. tt's wad happen. i dun mean to say i'm pushing the blame all towards u or to me. to me, no one is in the wrong. perphas we jus arent suitable for each other. perphas tis is jus a conflict in frenship. i dunnoe. i went home straight after that. i admit, i have that attitude. i slam all my hse and rm door; wadever doors there are. my mom was so surprise. i suppose she knew, definitely there's smt wrong.. cos i dun realli do those. and she asked. i refused to talk to her anything till now. is like she doesnt even know or cared abt my probs. she jus doesnt gib me security. `sorry. the sickening dentist was not opened AGAIN. and i'm so irriated. i'm not going anymore. smt i tink wth am i so nice for? giving off them and letting ppl noe i'm always there for them, be it up and down yet, do i even get back the least bit of kindness? it's so unworth. i wanted to make ppl happy, so long they are wif me and even away frm me. yet, i've already tried my best but wad do i ever get back? all those stupid frenship probs and backstabbing. i've had enugh of all those. we are getting our report books tmr. and i'm so bloody scared. i want to be promoted!!! we get our booklist today. oh man.. tis'd mean wasting $.. *sians* sure hse will have quarrels de. we have our new timetable for the extra week. i dun say i looked forward to seeing the teachers la.. but it's jus for our own good. wad can i do? fuck. shudup. leave me alone.